August 11, 2009

Gray Skies and a Heavy Heart

I've been ignoring my blog lately. I apologize profusely for the vast chasm of nothingness between posts. I'll explain what's been going on with me lately, and I promise, there's a valid reason why I've neglected things.

Tendonitis is currently the bane of my existence. It's brought my months and months of hard work to a screeching halt. This was a bitter pill for me to swallow, and has been a severe setback for me. I've spent many an evening drowning my sorrows in alcoholic beverages and horrible chick-flicks (DO NOT see "Confessions of a Shopaholic," I beg you.) There's also some family issues I've been dealing with, and I'll post about that later. Work, Life, and the usual daily drama have increased their stranglehold on me right now, and I've been grasping for breath at every waking moment.

All in all, I've been derailed in a major way. My head is foggy. My heart is gray and gloomy, like the Portland sky outside my window. My tears fall like fat raindrops, splashing on my concrete floors with an empty, hollow thud. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself and numbing my pain in unhealthy ways. I have to keep reminding myself that things will get better. I will resume my level of physical activity soon, and things will start looking up.

But it's so hard to keep your spirits up when stupid things are weighing them down. I have to move out of my loft. I have to take a further paycut at work. My feet hurt incessantly. I can't sleep. My grandmother is dying. The sky outside is cold an grey, just like my spirits.

I have to suck it up and keep moving onward and upward. Until then, I'm searching for that elusive silver lining.


  1. oh my gosh! I'm so sorry to hear all of that! If you're in the bay area stop by for a hug and a glass of wine or four =). Sucks that when life is hard, you don't get to exercise... that's usually a good stress-escape! (well, when cookies, ice cream, or beer don't work that is)

  2. I know it's hard to have a setback, especially when you want something so much..and like Sar said, usually working out is a stress reliever, and when you can't do that it sucks..But hang in there because that silver lining will shine through..Just be patient...and strong (=